The practice of dismantling a built up filter that can interfere with an embodied thriving connection to who I am as a 38 year-old woman continues to be a process involving deep patience, vulnerable honesty, and compassionate observation. Regardless of age, HUMAN BEINGS, have encountered our fare share of baggage that tends to pile up like sediments of residue and gets in the way of experiencing our highest sense of energetic BEINGness; resulting in a lack of connection to ourselves, others, and a higher Source (choice point to insert any belief system—the Divine, God, Energy, Universe, Spirit, etc.).
From past heartache to lingering health conditions, painful loss, failures, and grief, discoveries and joys, life will continue to hand us the unknown–change is the only constant!
What I’ve found to be true as a staple effort in lifting the veil of heavy residue these encounters bring (aka stories I choose to tell myself), is to simply find stillness. The practice of stillness has been found through experiences of mindfulness meditation, yoga, being in nature; all serving as antidotes to the restless mind, anxious body, and debilitating moods associated with feeling stuck and disconnected.
Often times I have placed an unnecessary amount of pressure on myself to ‘have the answer’ rather than letting an answer be revealed through a felt experience. If this ‘felt experience’ of the body is foreign terrain, let me explain. The body is a vessel that carries a constant steady stream of energy, Prana—life force. If you are familiar with acupuncture or Qi (Chi), it is the same concept of what lives within us as human beings to feel completely alive, alert, and present—especially when faced with stress, fatigue, and illness.
Every interaction, encounter, memory, thought, response, etc. is lodged and stored inside the body. Frequently this stale, raw, and undigested energy, Aama becomes stuck. Think of this process like stagnate water captured in a stream that has stopped flowing. Before the water (metaphor for Prana, a constant flowing internal wellspring of our light and energy) dries up, there may be a few unwanted visitors: flies, garbage, random creatures that stop by and persist prior to disappearing. Often times, leftover sediments linger from their encounter (aka: emotions, thoughts, painful body sensations) that we try to fix, resist, ignore, or attach to.
A filter is designed to remove unwanted material, but it is the practice of being with the unwanted and uncomfortable that provides human beings with a freedom to clarity, insight, and self-compassion.
For me, the path of mindfulness reintroduces another way to simply ‘be’ and show up. Without any sort of filtering system, the body’s soulful energy is constantly flowing, moving, and thriving. There are times in my formal sitting mindfulness practice when it feels is too uncomfortable or painful to be still—a constant burning in the low back, throbbing of the neck. Or my mind is uncontrollably noisy with false truths and playing out conversations that I am predicting will occur over text, email or with someone else in a few hours.
By creating a gentle pause to notice the uncomfortable and unwanted has shown up, I create a window of space. From that space, I can then to choose engage with it, or observe how it unfolds.
This delicate dance with pause provides an opportunity to realign with my intention, stabilize focus, and return to a place of balance. It is a process of watching what happens versus engaging, that allows me to physically experience the deep grooves of habits and patterns where my mind gets stuck playing the same soundtrack, which results in reactions that only perpetuate and deepen the cycle.
Other times in moments of pause, there may be a sense of timelessness, space, release, and I wake up to what my body is energetically calling for. Frequently my body knows what I need—to SLOW DOWN. Often, this cry is ignored. But when I honor feedback the body provides, the mind settles a few notches, body aches dissolve, my heart softens. Within each pause, something different, a new surprise shows up.
I can then choose how to proceed. I can begin again.
Learning and experiencing the process of de-conditioning conditioned behavior is dismantling the filter. By letting things gently be, just as they are, even when the outcome does not align with what I want at the time, and observing the present moment happenings of body, breath, and contents of the mind, I have been given an opportunity to truly listen to the tender whispers of my heart. Only then does the filter dismantle and the heartfelt connection is revealed.
May is Meditation Month. Check out hundreds of ways to SLOW DOWN through any form of meditation. Energetically reconnect to who you are as a person or perhaps meet yourself for the very first time.
Southern Orange County May Mindfulness Offerings
FRIDAY MAY 4th, 5:30pm Mindful Restore Meditation at RenaissanceClubSport | Aliso Viejo
SATURDAY MAY 5th, 12pm-Mindfulness Workshop at You & the Mat | Laguna Niguel
SUNDAY MAY 6th, 4:30pm- YogaNidra at StudioAPilates and Yoga | Dana Point
MONDAY MAY 7th, 5:30pm- Meditation at You & the Mat | Laguna Niguel
ONLINE MEDITATION BUNDLE | Devata Active
PODCAST Finding Peace: Moving From Anxiety to Stillness Through Mindfulness Meditation | Devata Active
Additional plugs for some amazing women who’s friendship and support have contributed to my path of healing from their whole-hearted work and products:
- Reiki & Energy Healing: YogaZeah
- Essential Oils: Penn & Olive
- Online Hormone Balancing & Master Class with Functional Fitness Expert with Dianne Kazer: CLEANSE your body, HEAL your hormones, IGNITE your life! http://www.dianekazer.com/hormone-breakthrough